The Shirley Requiem
by Mickey Is The Man
Summary: Emperor Lelouch vi Brittania is about to complete the Zero Requiem, but before he does, he has one last thing he needs to do: say goodbye to someone very special to him.


I'm a big fan of Code Geass, and I was very sad when one of my favorite characters of the series, Shirley Fenette, died. I wrote this as a way for Lelouch to pay his respects to her before he, too, passed. Takes place during the two-month period between the battle at Damocles, and the Zero Requiem. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass or anything to do with it.

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Lelouch Lamperouge slowly walked up to the door of the Student Council room at Ashford Academy, mentally bracing himself for what was about to come. With a deep breath, he opened the door with his usual relaxed expression, hoping that it would be something for the others to follow on, especially a certain someone.

"Lulu! You're late! Did you oversleep again?" his girlfriend, Shirley Fenette, asked with her hands on her hips, a pout on her face he couldn't help but admit was cute as soon as stepped in. He knew it was foolish to think that maybe she wouldn't have gotten mad at him for his tardiness, but he was a fool in love.

"Sorry, Shirley. Madam President," he said with an apologetic look to Milly Ashford, who only grinned as Shirley walked up to him and took his hand.

"You really need to give more attention to our projects, Lulu. If you're not out gambling with Rivalz, you're oversleeping! Am I going to have to tell Sayoko to wake you up on time?" Shirley asked as she lead him to the table in the center of the room.

"No, that won't be necessary," he replied with a small smile. He sat down, with Shirley taking the seat next to him, their hands still intertwined underneath the wood surface. Rivalz sat across from him, his eyes in a dreamy fog as he looked at the president, who sat on the table, kicking her legs.

"Now that Lelouch is here, I'd like to resume the planning for the 'Act-Like-Your-Boyfriend-Or-Girlfriend' Festival, but it's nearly lunch time, so I'll let you guys take off a little early. Shirley, you can fill Lelouch in with what we have during break. That is, if you're not too busy doing other things with your mouths," Milly said with a coquettish look at the couple. "And I don't mean eating."

"Madam President!" Shirley said in embarassment, her face growing as red as her hair. Lelouch lowered his head, letting his bangs cover his eyes.

Five minutes later, Lelouch and Shirley were sitting next to each on a bench out on the courtyard, their food trays laying on their laps, while Shirley rested her head on his shoulder. She explained between bites of her salad what Milly had in store for her latest extravagant festival idea, where couples would switch clothes and act like their other half for the day.

"I think that'll be a day with a lot of couples breaking up," Lelouch said once she finished.

"Milly said that, too, but she also said that the hardships that won't kill a relationship will only make it stronger," she said with a smile. "But you and I, it won't really matter if we upset each other a little, right? Because what we have, I suppose it's simply fate. Right, Lulu?"

Lelouch admired the girl sitting next to him, how pretty and pure she was. Always so upbeat, so friendly. Her bad moods quickly dissented for the beaming smile she was so willing to share with the world, with her bright forest green eyes giving warmth to those that needed it. Lelouch had had a grudge against the world ever since he was a child, but once he accepted Shirley into his heart, things seemed so much peaceful. The sky seemed bluer, the moon glowed more heavenly, and the classes weren't as tedious. Life was better with Shirley.

Finished with their food, Shirley took both their trays, and got up to toss them in the garbage can a few feet away. Lelouch stood up after her, and embraced her in a hug once she came back. His hands slipped around her waist, while her arms held him around the neck.

"I love you, Lulu," she said softly, her eyes almost closed.

"I love -" Lelouch started, but suddenly, he felt his hold on Shirley start to give. Somehow, she was slipping away from him. "Shirley?"

"So is that okay, then, Lulu? And as I'm reborn, I'll fall in love with you over and over..." she said weakly, completely out of his grasp.

"Shirley! Shirley!" he cried for her, reaching out to try to grab her. But it was useless.

"I'll keep... falling in love... with..." she was barely able to say.

- XXX -

The 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire, Lelouch vi Britannia, slowly approached the tombstone, his mind still heavy about the dream he had had the night before. Dressed as a commoner, with a blond wig to further his guise, he was alone in the graveyard on the sunny day. Even still, he didn't dare remove the hair piece, for fear that someone would discover him and try to assault the man the entire world had grown to hate.

He knew it was risky for him to be out alone, without any of his advisers or security personnel knowing, especially when the Zero Requiem was yet to be completed, but it was something he felt he owed to his friend. He took a final step before kneeling down in front of the tombstone, and placed a single flower in front of it and all the other mementos left for the girl.

"Shirley..." he whispered. Already he could feel a sadness welling inside of him, wanting to escape as tears. "You said to me, that no matter how many times you were reborn, you would keep falling in love with me. Well, now, you can't be reborn, and I don't believe that you'd fall in love with me again, with everything that I've been doing to this world."

Like he had done against his enemies, Lelouch wanted to predict what Shirley would've said to him in response, but he couldn't. As much as he would've wanted a conversation with her, he felt it would've been disrespectful to use those tactics.

"I took you for granted, Shirley. I've taken a lot of people for granted over my life, before everything changed, but you were always there, a constant bright spot that I always seemed to overlook. You were exactly the kind of person that I wanted for the world I was trying to create for Nunally, but I never truly came to understand this while you were here. But now, I see it perfectly."

Lelouch paused again, with tears now brimming in his eyes.

"I'm sorry this happened to you, Shirley. You didn't deserve to die. You should've lived!" he said angrily as his freed tears began to run down his face. He took another second to compose himself, then continued. "But if you had lived, you would hate me, just like the rest of the world. I'm afraid that wouldn't have changed anything that I'm doing, but to know that you, Shirley Fenette, hated me, it would've been a blow I felt to my core."

Lelouch, still on his knees, began to feel umcomfortable in his position, so he sat down on the ground, leaning back a little on his hands as he looked to the cloudless sky.

"I hate to think of how you'd react to me if you were alive today, Shirley. I remember having to ignore Rivalz when I appeared at Ashford Academy to speak with the U.F.N. I see the fake smiles of Milly and the rest of the media when they have reports concerning me and my regime. I can't imagine that you'd continue to love the man that holds the world in his grip, crushing it slowly. But if you knew what I was really doing, Shirley, I can only figure that you'd love me even more, and you'd beg me to not go through with my ultimate plan. That's what hurts most of all."

Lelouch now returned his blurry line of sight to the tombstone, and the name engraved. "No. That's not true. What hurts most of all is that I never loved you. I'm sorry I never loved you. If you were alive today, Shirley, I don't believe I'd love you. But if I wasn't alive today - if Lelouch vi Britannia wasn't alive - then it's possible that maybe, if you'd kept trying, then Lelouch Lamperouge might've fallen in love with you. If I hadn't uncovered a destiny as the king to live a life of solitude, then perhaps you would've gotten what you wanted. Because, Shirley, you were an absolutely amazing person, and I might've come to see that, if things didn't end up the way they did."

"...Lelouch? Is that you?"

The Emperor immediately froze for an instant, but quickly reached inside his jacket pocket, where he was hiding a pistol. Slowly, he turned around, and saw none other than Milly Ashford behind him, a grim look on her face.

Lelouch's grip on the pistol loosened, but kept it in his hand, just in case. He understood there was no point in trying to convince the former Student Council President he wasn't who she thought he was. She had seen him in several ridiculous costumes over the years; there was no way a simple wig was going to deceive her. "Milly. What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting Shirley," she answered timidly, continuing to look haunted by the young man in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

"The same," he replied, taking his hand out of jacket, assured he wouldn't need to use his gun. "I've come to pay my respects to someone very special."

The initial fear that Milly had felt when she first realized who it was that sat next to Shirley's grave disappeared, replaced by an anger felt throughout the entire globe. However, being a professional, and being aware of what Lelouch might do to her if she spoke overly ill of the emperor, she was able to keep her emotions in check and choose her words carefully.

"Lelouch... what's happened to you? You, you've killed your own father, and you've taken over the whole world by unjust means. Never in a million years would I imagine that you'd be capable of so many horrible actions, like ordering the public executions of the Black Knights, and imprisoning your own little sister. How could you? How could you have done everything you've done?" she pressed cautiously, but the edge in her voice was unmistakable.

Lelouch expected such questions from Milly, but her bringing up Nunally struck him hard. To her, Nunally was just the Viceroy of Area 11, one of several sisters to the king, but it was still a harsh fate for a person of one's own blood. Still, he had an image as the cold king to keep, and showed no emotion to anything she said. "Milly, I came here for one reason, and one reason only. That is to visit Shirley in peace, with no one knowing I'm here so I wouldn't be disturbed. So please, Milly, don't disturb me with questions about what I'm doing with the world in my hands."

The reporter's frown increased over his arrogance. "Look, Lelouch, I'm not -"

"Dammit, Milly!" Lelouch snapped at her, swiveling his head to face her. "I'm here for Shirley! Do you understand? This is the only time I've ever been to her grave, and I want it done in peace!" Suddenly, the emperor's eyes began to glisten in the sun, shocking Milly. "I, I didn't go to her funeral. Do you know how much it hurts to know that I wasn't here for her funeral? To know that I wasn't able to say goodbye with everyone else she loved?" he asked her with genuine sorrow.

Milly suddenly felt Lelouch's sadness. Despite now being the man that oppressed the world, he was still a human being, and once upon a time, he was a dear friend of hers. To see him crying over Shirley, she saw that despite all the terrible things he had done since he became the emperor, he wasn't completely heartless. She walked over, and took a seat next to Lelouch, staying silent for a moment as they looked at Shirley's name on her tombstone.

"Did you... love her?" she asked softly.

This question told Lelouch that she hadn't heard anything he had said so far, which he was very glad at - she had no reason to suspect his intentions as emperor as anything but callous. "No," he answered, "but I wish that I'd tried harder." Milly was about to ask what he meant by that, but he replied before she could. "Shirley was always such a sweet girl. I've never much thought about women in general, but the way she felt for me, I always thought of her first. I can't say that I ever felt strong romantic feelings for her, but I do believe that, if I had tried a little harder at allowing her advances, something might've been sparked."

Milly couldn't help but smile a little. "You know, Lelouch, I think you're right. Shirley always tried so hard, I thought it'd eventually make up for your own lack of trying." Reminiscing about the days at Ashford Academy, where Shirley always pined for the rather-nonchalant Lelouch's attention, it made her own eyes start to well up. "The last big event I ever did as Student Council President was to try to put Shirley together with her Lulu, and it's a little sad to hear that it almost worked."

Lelouch remembered the game Milly had created and gotten the entire school to play, where the students had to wear heart-shaped hats for others to try to take. He recalled the president's request for his own hat, which put the whole school's crosshairs on him, but in the end it was Shirley that ended up with it. "That was the day I realized Shirley could mean a lot more to me than I thought in the past. Once before I'd come to this conclusion, but for the sake of everyone I had to squander those feelings, until they were forgotten."

Milly had no idea what he meant by that. He once felt himself start to reciprocate Shirley's feelings, but he denied himself those feelings, until they were forgotten? How do you forget the love for someone you saw virtually every day? And what did he mean that it was done for the sake of everyone? Everyone figured they'd end up together; it would've come as no surprise, with no objections. Those were the thoughts that raced through Milly's mind, but she decided it better not to ask, since she knew Lelouch would prefer she didn't.

"But that day, Madam President," he continued, referring back to her old title, "that day, those feelings came back to me. Me and Shirley? Together? It was no longer an impossibility; unfortunately it was still an improbability, considering what I needed to do. However, I left that window of opportunity lowered, but just slightly ajar, in case of events unforeseen.

"Shirley suffered a lot because of me, Milly, and yet, she managed to forgive me, and tell me she'd love me always. If she wasn't the person for me to fall in love with, then I highly doubt there is anyone else."

Milly absorbed what Lelouch just said, feeling more sympathy for the young king that basically swore off love. But she'd picked up something he'd said before. "Shirley told you she loved you? When?"

The truth almost slipped from Lelouch's mouth, but then he remembered that Shirley's death was better left mired in suspect details, as much as it angered him. No one would rightly believe that the friendly, bright girl would've commited suicide, but there was no way he could reveal what really happened that day. Still, he needed an answer for Milly. "The day before she died."

"And what did you tell her?" Milly followed up.

Lelouch knew that these questions, she wasn't asking under the mindset of a reporter, but as a friend of both his and Shirley's. She wanted the information for her own peace of mind, and he couldn't blame her. However, the complete truth wasn't something he could give her. "I told her that I really liked her, but it wasn't the same as what she felt for me. Still, she did nothing but smile at me, and tell me that she hoped she could get me to fall in love with her for real someday."

Milly, with tears running down her face, fondly remembered all the conversations that she and Shirley had had about her crush on Lelouch. The girl was just so adamant about him, it was sweet to see her chase after him, with apparently little luck. But, she had left a very big impression on Lelouch's heart, that even now, as the tyrant of the entire world, he cried for her. He truly cared about her, and she could tell he believed that he might've loved her if she hadn't died, that he was on the edge before completely falling for her. But, what would she think about him if she was still with them? It was something she direly wanted to point out to Lelouch, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

_'If you're watching me, Shirley, then you must know what I'm doing, and you must know why. I can only hope that you don't think any less of me for my crimes against the world, but I don't think I need to worry about that; I know you'd be against my methods, but I think you'd believe it was something admirable. But what a difference life and death make. If you were still living in the world I hold, you'd feel ashamed of me, wouldn't you? You would think you were wrong about who I was as a person. Hate isn't in your nature, I'm sure of that much, but there was no way you would continue to believe that I was the Lulu you thought I was._

_'But I don't have to worry about that, do I? As you're reborn, you'd fall in love with me over and over. Now, you're reborn as something more beautiful than you were before, and you must know of my reasons. Do you still mean what you said?_

_'I hope so, Shirley.'_

"Lelouch?" Milly asked. He had been quiet for a few minutes now, as he silently cried, looking at her name.

Lelouch didn't break his gaze away, and offered no response. Instead, another minute passed, before he stood up, and said, "I hope to see you again one day, Shirley."

Wiping away his tears, he turned and began to walk away from the grave, sharing a final sad glance with Milly, who chose to only think the best of what Lelouch had just said.

After walking several yards away, Lelouch turned back to Shirley's grave, where Milly remained seated. He was sure she was saying something to her friend, but he didn't know what, and he didn't particularly care. He had done what he needed to do before the Zero Requiem: say goodbye to Shirley, and tell her how he felt.

_'I hope to see you again one day, Shirley. One day soon.'_

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A/N: Well, there we go. Throughout the course of Code Geass, I pulled for Shirley to finally get her Lulu, but as we know, they didn't have a happy ending, together or otherwise. Shirley's death was one of the saddest things I've ever seen, and I really felt inspired to write something between her and Lelouch. This was the end result, as I wanted to give Lelouch some closure with the girl he seemed to have wanted to love, and I do hope you enjoyed it.


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